The Key To Life Is In Your Dog's Soul

Soft brown eyes to see my soul
Her shiny black fur reflects my dreams
For her heart has always loved me
My companion on the journey of life
~ Written Two Weeks Before The Lights Went Dim

It probably started before Sunday, but that was the day the first real sign something was wrong appeared. She had gone into Adam's room and had attempted to "do her business". She'd been trained to go outside. The last time she'd gone in the house, she'd had an infection. But something about this time made it different. Marchel said he'd keep an eye on her. Maybe he'd simply missed her signals to take her out. But the next day proved worse. Again, she failed to make it outside. Only, it was the other failure that rang the alarm bell. The door to our living area, wide open and in no one's way, except for Baby, our dog. For some unknown reason, she couldn't navigate the placement of the door. A near collision ensued. Now was the time. The vet had to be called.

I was in California visiting my sister and my niece. My sister's cold was taking control of her body, leaving her little energy to tend to her one year old daughter or even think about their impending move from California to Washington. The troops a.k.a. Nanny Karla was called in on short notice to help out. I was supposed to have been there for three weeks, but my brother-in-law's business trip extended my stay. Without this extension, I would have been home the day before the lights went out.

I talked with Marchel, my boyfriend, every day. I thought maybe she had a stomach virus, anything that could be easily cured by a round of antibiotics. The reality was such a slap across the face; I lost my breath for a moment.

"I just got back from the vet."
"And."
"I don't have good news."
"What, what's wrong?"
"It isn't life threatening."
"Am I going to cry?"
"Maybe."
"Let me go sit down. Okay, I'm ready."
"Baby's gone blind."

With the return of my breath, came the onslaught of tears. How, why, what tumbled out of my mouth. There wasn't any explanation. The lights had been turned off and they didn't know why. My dog, my precious companion, had lost her vision. I thought of how scared and confused she must be. I thought of all the things she'd never see again and kicked myself for all the things I should have shown her. I thought of all the things she may never be able to do again, but most of all I thought of how I should have been home to help her through this. To tell her I love her. To pet her, to hug her, to support her as she adjusted to this world of darkness that had been thrust upon her. We didn't find out till weeks later her blindness was due to S.A.R.D.S. (Suddenly Acquired Retinal Degeneration Syndrome). A condition for which there is no cure, prevention, nor warning.

I couldn't stand being away from Baby. As I reached my sister's guest bedroom that evening, I knew sleep would elude me. Images of Baby falling down the stairs at home flickered through my mind's eye. A gate was put up the next day only she knocked it down. She continued to do her business in the house. Our normally well-behaved dog began to act out, but how do you reprimand a scared and confused pet? Nothing seemed to soothe her now raw nerves. It was still a week before my return home. My stomach was in knots. My skin itself was on edge. I hoped she didn't think I'd abandoned her.